No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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