you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize