the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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