have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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