i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
