Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
