it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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