I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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