The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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