anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
