the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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