margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I look better un-naked...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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