it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
