her vagine was all disorganized.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
No subtext here. People are naked.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
