I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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