I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
