What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
