WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
