K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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