we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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