you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
