I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
