she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize