Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize