I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
ugly people sure do ruin things
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
