I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
