Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
