Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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