I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Watching her eat just hurts me
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
