its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
