Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
just tell him i said nine months
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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