he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
