i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
