Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(910): View more from North Carolina

ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.

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(575): View more from New Mexico

My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.

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(562): View more from California

WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?

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(916): View more from California

I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.

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(541): View more from Oregon

By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.

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