should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
