I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i used baking grease as lip gloss
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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