She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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