Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Randomize
