yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
