It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
