come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
