then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize