I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
