THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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