I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
