I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
