I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
people are starting to question the shark bite story
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
