I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
my poor anus
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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