i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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