honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I am one with the molecules
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
