I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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