Rock
Scissors
Fuck
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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