I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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