was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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