I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
