Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
