bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Semen is not good for contacts.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
