I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
