I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
