is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
