Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
