she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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