I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
