Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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